June 2025 IndieWeb Carnival, "Take Two:" The Spokane Option

18 Jun, 2025

Nick Simson is this month’s host of IndieWeb Carnival. His theme, “Take Two,” could be about revising one of your old ideas, revisiting old technologies today, or speculating what could have happened had you taken that proverbial left turn at Albuquerque. As I enjoy a healthy dose of speculation in my life, I’ll write about my own proverbial left turn that centered on a different city: Spokane, Washington,

Being in my early 50s, I have enough life experiences to reflect back upon and wonder how things could have turned out under different circumstances. For example, what if I decided to forego attending a house party ten blocks from my Chicago apartment back in November 2002? I wouldn’t have met L. What if I had more sense with my money, and made it through the first year at my apartment in Coralville, IA back in 1997? A couple of possibilities, as I would have either marched on with my plans for grad school at Iowa the following year, or I would have kept up my relationship with S. and followed her after she moved to Minneapolis in 1998. What if I didn’t get accepted for my current job? I would have likely become so frustrated by my new boss that we would have had an altercation and I would have been fired. However, there's an even bigger what-if scenario to consider for my life, something I'l call the Spokane Option. What could have happened had I taken it, and how would my life had changed? Would it be better in whatever definition that word could mean, or possibly even worse off? Let's find out.

The background

When I graduated from college in 1993, I was not ready to enter “the real world.” I had switched majors a few times, and barely managed to get a Political Science degree (with a near-minor in Philosophy) after attempts at Physics, Computer Science, and even Economics. Despite the ups and downs of my studies, I managed to get a 3.2 GPA. But more important than that number was figuring out who I was and what kind of person I wanted to become. College was a time for me to establish my identity on my own, which is something my classmates went through in high school. When I compared myself to them, I felt immature and underdeveloped, as they seemed to have figured out their lives before me. As graduation rolled around I had some moments that I now recognize as internal panic—what was I going to do with my life? In spite of my degree, I was not interested at all in law school and in hindsight, that was the correct decision. My liver and nasal passages are thanking me today for avoiding that intense path of education and likely self-harm. So if not law school, what would I do?

Taking a break after getting my BA degree wasn’t something I thought about. If I stopped going to school, I’d have to make some big life decisions, and I wasn’t mature enough for that. Thanks to some of my last Political Science classes and the early 90s, environmental issues were really hot at that time, so I started thinking about public policy with an environmental focus. Indiana’s School for Public and Environmental Affairs had one of the better-known programs in this field, so I paid the school a visit in March 1993 and applied shortly thereafter. I picked Northern Illinois as my backup, as NIU was relatively close to my family’s home in DuPage County.

Now let's head northwest from rural Iowa. My grandparents¹ had been living in Spokane for almost 8 years at the time of my college graduation. Prior to their move, they both could claim Chicago and many inner suburbs as their home. My grandfather worked in the newspaper industry, and rose up through the ranks to become the circulation manager of the Chicago Sun-Times. But when Rupert Murdoch’s company bought the paper, he was part of the old Marshall Field guard that got axed--though not until he had trained his replacement! Other newspapers sought him out due to his experience, and in the end my grandfather chose Spokane over Dallas, a decision both he and my grandmother believed added 10 years to both their lives.

I had the fortune of visiting the grandparents twice while they lived in Spokane, with my second visit² happening shortly after graduation. It was during this 1993 visit when the Spokane Option was fully presented: I could live with the grandparents for one year, obtain state residency, then apply for graduate schools in Washington, or even in other neighboring bodies that offered reciprocal education (which at that time were Oregon, Idaho, and British Columbia). I had even received brochures from two grad programs based in Washington to help sway my decision--more on those schools later. After barely thinking it over, I declined the Spokane Option and ended up at NIU in the fall of 1993. Indiana had wait-listed me and said I could apply again in the fall of 1994. Unfortunately, my time at NIU was a total disaster and short-lived. I only lasted one semester before I dropped out and gave up on graduate school.

Why did I decline, and what happened at NIU? Both of these answers are intertwined, and both had to do with my lack of maturity. After feeling like I established myself at college, there was another part of me that was scared to move over 2000 miles away where I knew nobody except for the grandparents. I feared that the friends I made at college would fade away during my time in Spokane, especially if I were to stay in the Pacific Northwest for a few years in pursuit of my graduate degree. I would likely have made some new friends, but then I'd have another what-if scenario about the folks I left behind, and how they'd likely move on in their lives away from me. Having the grandparents around would have likely kept me grounded and focused upon completing my tasks for state residency and school applications, but I wasn’t hearing that at that time. What I was hearing in my head were fears that after finally establishing myself as a person, I'd lose those friendships which helped me in my formative years. I was not looking forward to starting over again.

As for NIU, I was still thinking immaturely not just by attending grad school immediately after undergrad, but also when selecting my housing option. Instead of living in the grad dorms, I picked an affinity housing wing near the football stadium that housed Political Science students. Most of the residents on that wing were undergrads, with me being one of the two outliers. I had a great time hanging out with the younger students, but their antics didn’t help me out when I was studying for my classes. And I was way too easily swayed to keep living as an undergrad, so I wasn't taking my studies too seriously. Once things became more serious with my studies and the classes became more difficult, I had no real peers for support. Today, I know that grad school is in and of itself a job, but back then I was not interested in that kind of work. One semester of total disaster was bad enough, so on a freezing January day in 1994 when all classes at NIU were canceled because of the weather, I wondered what was I doing here? When I couldn’t think of a good reason, I knew I had to leave.

The scenario

With the distance of 30 years or more behind me, what could have happened had I taken up my grandparents' offer? Could we have lived together in relative harmony? Where would I have gone to school, and what would I have done with the graduate degree? Would I have lived in the Pacific Northwest post-graduation, or would the call of family and friends brought me back to the Midwest, as it did with my grandparents in 1996? Would all of these plans been trashed had I fallen in love with someone in Spokane? I certainly cannot factor in every permutation, but based on what I remember wanting to pursue back then, I can make a decent stab at creating an alternate timeline for myself. Let's hope it doesn't turn out as bad as Marty McFly's alternate Hill Valley!

1. Do I survive living with my grandparents? For the most part, yes. They provide a fair, but strict setup for me to live, provided I do my part and research various schools and their graduate programs. I am sure we would have had some conflicts, but I hope they would have been minimal and not cause to boot me out of their condo.
2. What would I have done for a job while in Spokane? Well, there could have been a bit of nepotism at play, and I could have gotten a job at the town newspapers. There also could have been call centers, or grocery stores, or even some newfangled coffee shops. It likely wouldn't have been too serious of a job, as I would have needed some flexibility to explore campuses in person.
3. Where would I have likely gone to grad school? I believe that after living in Spokane for a year, I would have been interested in moving to a bigger metro area for grad school. While I wouldn't have completely ruled out colleges in a more rural setting, such as Washington State University or the University of Idaho, I believe the younger me would have wanted a different experience than my undergrad years in rural Iowa. Additionally, there's the difference between environmental science and environmental studies to consider, as the former requires more scientific backgrounds while the latter has more of an interdisciplinary allowance. As I only had one science class in undergrad, I would have sought out schools with environmental studies programs. My choice would have been between those two Washington schools I originally sought out in 1993: Western Washington University in Bellingham, and Evergreen State College in Olympia. It's hard to say which school would have been better. On one hand, Evergreen is closer to Seattle than WWU, and its school size would have been closer to what I experienced as an undergrad. On the other hand, WWU has the more established program, and could have provided better stipends and internships. For the purposes of this scenario, let's flip a coin.
4. Let’s say I get accepted into a university in western WA for the Fall 1994 semester. Then what? I move to the other side of Washington, likely with some saved money and a crappy used car. I pursue my studies, and spend a fair amount of time between my campus and the Seattle area, hopefully meeting people and making friends both on-campus and off-campus. I end up with my Master's in Environmental Studies in the spring of 1996, which is close to the time my grandfather retires from the Spokane paper and moves back to the Chicagoland area. At this part of my conjecture things become fuzzy, as the goings-on in my personal life would be much harder to predict than the end of my academic career. I am sure that I would have made lots of phone calls and furious letter-writings to my undergrad friends. There also would have been at least one big visit, possibly two if I could afford it, to Chicago and/or Iowa to see family and friends. How much pull would the Seattle region have had on me at this time, versus that of friends and family in the Midwest? I honestly cannot say, but let's continue onwards with grad school.
5. It's 1996, and I have my Master's degree. Where do I start working? Given how much it would have cost to move back to Chicago and being a poor graduate student, my search for post-grad employment would likely have been in the Seattle region. For a couple of years, my local connections in Washington would have won out over family and friends in Chicago and Iowa. Let the letter-writings and phone calls continue!
6. It's 2002, and the subsequent punch of the WTO protests, the dot-com bubble burst, and the September 11 attacks sours the mood in Seattle. What happens to me? Seattle’s reputation would have been adversely affected by the WTO protests, but the bursting of the dot-com bubble in 2000 could have had real effects on my post-grad job. If there were a time where I could have given up Seattle and moved back to the Midwest, this would have been it. I likely would have kept my eyes open for similar jobs in Chicago and the Midwest, though my family would have encouraged me to keep building up my experiences there. The friends I made in Seattle would have been in similar circumstances, and as we were all busy establishing ourselves professionally, I can't say how easy meeting people outside of school would have been at this time. In my real-life past, I joined a BBS in 1997 during my disastrous year of living in Iowa City³ and have made lifelong friends from it. In this scenario, Seattle’s early online presence could have also allowed me to join a BBS and meet people (or, I could already have been familiar with the BBS world due to my time in grad school). I imagine this period would have been difficult, but more in a general sense than anything specific to me.
7. It’s 2003, and it’s 10 years after I graduated from my undergrad. What’s going on? In this somewhat optimistic scenario, I somehow make it through all of the pitfalls in the previous point. I also somehow meet someone that I fall in love with, a woman named Y., who like me moved to Seattle from elsewhere for a job and school. We date for a couple years, then get engaged. Her family, based in the Los Angeles area, are wonderful people I’m glad will be in my life. I make a visit to Iowa for my 10-year reunion, and while I’m happy to catch up with folks again, I have a life of my own in the Seattle region. I invite college friends to visit me and Y.
8. It’s 2006, and Y. and I are getting married. I’ve been out of grad school for 10 years at this point. Now what? We’re both thrilled with our lives in the Seattle area, but we still keep an eye out for job opportunities near our families. Y. visits Chicago and I visit Los Angeles, but we both come to the realization that life kept moving forward after we get off the hometown carousels years ago. Both of these cities will always feel like home, but our upcoming marriage means home will be wherever we may be, and as of that time home would be Seattle. Due to the widely separated families, we decide to have a small marriage ceremony in Seattle, followed by larger gatherings with family and friends in both Chicago and Los Angeles. The Chicago gathering turns out to be one of the last events my grandfather attends, as his nearly decade-long battle against cancer was unfortunately nearing its end.
9. It's 2008, and our starter house in the Seattle area is about to grow. Or so we think. Both Y. and I are at a point in our lives where we talk about starting a family. The passing of my grandfather the year before affected me in many ways, as I would have not succeeded in this scenario if not for his and my grandmother's support back in Spokane. I believe he would have been happy to know he'd be a great-grandfather. However, our best-laid plans don't bear fruit. After a year of trying, we finally discover that Y. has endometriosis , which ends up leading to uterine and ovarian surgery. After recovery, we try again for another year, but two miscarriages in a row put an end to this effort. Our marriage is strained by these disappointments, but endures. Y. and I talk with our families about the sad turn of events, and we are assured of their love for us.
10. It’s 2011, and I have turned 40. Y. and I have new jobs, which are going well. There’s still some sadness due to the failed attempts at becoming parents, but out of other tragic events, something amazing happened. Y.’s younger brother lived in the LA area, and was married with two children. During a dinner celebration of their wedding anniversary, the car driven by Y.’s brother was struck by a drunk driver. The driver was killed, along with Y.'s brother and his wife. The two children, aged 4.5 and 3, first live with Y.’s parents, but within a couple months, they were on the move elsewhere. A year prior to the car accident, when Y. spoke with her brother about the miscarriages, he said he was drawing up a will, and asked if we could raise their children if any bad fortunes were to befall him and his wife? We both agreed, and the will was made official nine months before the car accident. Once custody was granted, Y. and I became the guardians of our niece and nephew, and they moved from the Los Angeles area to Seattle. Having them living with us prompted Y. and I to search for a new home and a proper school, something we thought would never happen.
11. It’s 2013, and the nephew is about to start kindergarten. The niece is about to start 2nd grade. A bolt from the blue is about to upend life, eventually for the better. We ended up staying in our original home, as we weren’t finding anything to our liking. Y.’s parents had retired and moved to New Mexico, though they never could escape their grief over their son and his wife. They bought property in Albuquerque, and built a house for themselves. Within three months of its construction, Y.’s father had a stroke and died. Y.’s mother lived with us for a month afterwards, but her condition rapidly deteriorated as she was grief-stricken and ultimately depressed from these deaths. She requested palliative care, then passed away shortly thereafter. The house in New Mexico was willed to us, which we thought about selling…but on a whim, we decided to look at jobs in the Albuquerque/Santa Fe area. We were shocked to find a few jobs that lined up with our experiences, so after discussing it, we decided to apply, and if we got the jobs, we’d all move as a family to New Mexico. And just like that--
12. It’s 2025. We have been living in New Mexico for almost 13 years. The niece will start her sophomore year at St. John’s College in a couple of months. The nephew will be a high school senior, and he’s debating whether to attend UNM, NAU, or UTEP. My father and stepmother are doing well in their new home. My mother passed away last year, and we all saw her for the last time on July 4, 2024 during a Chicago visit. Y. and I are still keeping up friendships from folks in Seattle; we visit there about 2-3 times per year. My grandmother is still alive at 92, and we all saw her during the same July 2024 visit. Y.’s relatives are largely in the Los Angeles area, and we can see them 1-2 times a year. I am still keeping up with some college friends, to the point where I helped with my 30th anniversary class graduation.

The conclusion

As I was spinning up the above scenario, I realized that alternate histories are fun to write, but messy to plan out. There are numerous paths that my fictitious version of myself could have taken had I graduated with a Master's degree in 1996. Not all of these paths could have been as overall positive as what I had just written, as for example, I could easily have created a scenario where I fell apart during grad school in ways similar to what really happened to me in Iowa City. I also could have moved back to Chicago and somehow met L. in 2002, and life could have picked up from there. I could have succeeded in Seattle, or I could have struggled in, say, Syracuse after graduation. And so on.

Having all these potential outcomes aren't signs that I need to stick with one story, or a sign that I need an editor. Instead, these possibilities prove how the Spokane Option occurred at a pivotable point in my young adult life. If I were to have taken it and have graduated with a Master's degree in 1996, the possibilities for my life could have been as wide-ranging as the stars in the nighttime sky. Some outcomes may have been much worse for me, while others could have been better in ways my imagination cannot comprehend. The above scenario was based on people I've known in the 32 years since the Spokane Option was presented, but it's just one fictitious story out of many.

More importantly, and what was the biggest surprise for me while writing this post, is the belated realization that the quantity of outcomes is separate from their quality. I cannot honestly compare my current life to the made-up scenario written above, or to any possible outcome for that matter. Having so many options at my disposal helps me to dispel self-doubts about the paths not taken, because there are just so many of them to walk upon. All of these possible scenarios that could have come from the Spokane Option ultimately robs it of its power, and reduces the road not taken to just being a road. In many ways, it's freeing to know that this option wasn't as life-changing as I had feared, nor does it indicate that I've made bad choices with my life up to this point. The life I'm living now has plenty of fulfilling aspects to it, and there's no guarantee that taking the Spokane Option would automatically have given me more fulfillment. Maybe that's the best lesson to take out from this what-if exercise, one I would have liked to tell to that slightly confused and immature version of me standing in the middle of a street in Banff. He could have benefited from the wisdom of his future self, as I would tell myself not to stress out about falling short in comparison to your peers, that regardless of your flawed reasoning you won't fail in life because you aren't interested in the Spokane Option. You'll figure life out at your own pace.

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