From the Unarchive: Half of a Boards of Canada song (LiveJournal entry from 2006)
Once again, it's time to enter the Unarchive, which if you missed it, is where I pull posts from previous blogging adventures. These posts could be ones I've published, or drafted up for posting but never got around to it. This time, I have decided to enter into a scary place full of emotions, of cringe, and of too much confessing: my old LiveJournal.
I had a pretty active LiveJournal from January 2002 to December 2010, but due to changes in the site and shinier online objects, I stopped posting. There was a brief comeback in January 2012, only to fully understand that yes, everyone I knew had left, and it was time to stop hanging out with the ghosts of the past. Fortunately, LiveJournal allowed third parties to export their journals into PDF's, so all of my writings--the good, the bad, and the ugly--are preserved. As Jedda observed recently:
That said, it does make me think about how our online personas have evolved over the years. Back then, people were more raw and unfiltered. These days, it seems like weāre all trying to present the best versions of ourselves. That doesnāt necessarily mean weāre being less authentic, but it does make me wonder when that shift happened. Was it when people started leaning into influencer culture and getting paid to share their lives online instead of just sharing in hopes of finding connection?
Some of my unfiltered writings make me cringe, because I can't imagine writing like that now. On the other hand, I'm so glad there was an environment of trust and understanding to allow me and many others to write in an unguarded way. Ages weren't as relevant in this environment; for example, when Jedda wrote her linked entry, she was much younger than when I wrote mine below. What helped both of us out, I believe, was that we had trust in the LiveJournal environment as a space where we could be ourselves without judgement. Nowadays, you may see some of these unguarded moments sneak through the various algorithms on Instagram Reels, or in TikTok, but given how so much has changed since the LJ heyday, there are legitimate questions as to whether these unguarded moments are just a performance. Back in the LJ era, there were definitely performers, but audiences largely trusted what they were reading, for better or for worse. Maybe it was naivetƩ, maybe it was Maybelline.
Anyway, enough waxing about eras gone by. You're here to read an entry from my past, so no point in keeping you in suspense. This particular entry isn't too cringe-worthy, but it's amusing to read my reflections upon reaching a milestone birthday.
Note: Similar to last time, if a URL gets replaced from the original, the new link will be highlighted. If there's no sufficient replacement, the original link will be crossed out. Any edits for clarification will be in bold italics.
Half of a Boards of Canada song (2006-09-13 14:31) - public
Music: Boards of Canadaā"The Smallest Weird Number"
Today is my 35th birthday. In honor of this, please listen to only half of this song oļ¬ of Geogaddi. What would I like for my birthday? For the residents of "my" country of Kazakhstan to develop a sense of humor. Then again, being under the thumb of Russian rule would mess up oneās ability to find anything funny. I would also wish my birthday were not surrounded on either side by two of Britney Spearsā oļ¬spring, as I now have to live the rest of my life with my birthday being bookmarked by dumb white trash. Then again, having a birthday two days prior to today sucks forevermore, so I shouldnāt be complaining about whatās happened with mine. One thing that wonāt change is that the actual day I was born will forever be tied in with the Attica prison riots. Alright, everyone, run down the street like Al Pacino and start overacting!
How do I feel about being 35? For quite some time, Iāve looked at turning 35 as equal to the milestone--or dread--as is typically associated with turning 30. Five years ago, I was living with my family in Elmhurst, going to school, and looking for employment after Webley started laying oļ¬ people. Of course, this was two days after 9/11, so the stereotypical angst that goes along with turning 30 really wasnāt there, as it was subsumed by a larger level of grief/confusion/anger/etc. It was honestly just another birthday for me.
Fast forward five years, and a lot has changed. An aside: Iām on hold with Xerox right now, and the hold music is "Classical Gas." Sweet--I feel like Iām waiting in a dentistās oļ¬ce. Between the upcoming marriage, the long-term discussion of buying a house, and seeking out some form of ease with my new environment, I feel like this birthday is worthy of marking oļ¬ as a turning point in my life. A lot more has happened, or will be happening with myself than when I was eļ¬ectively spinning my wheels in 2001. I am not completely satisfied with my lot in life--after all, thatās what an online journal is for, if not to bitch and moan about the goings-on in worlds large and small, right?--but overall, Iām relatively content.
And now we're back in 2025, where my age is the reverse of this particular milestone. My next birthday will see me reach the same number as New York City's most famous disco, though I don't see myself reaching the same depths of debauchery as could be found there. Thoughts on the post:
- In case you didn't get the musical command, the smallest weird number in number theory is 70, so in honor of my 35th birthday, you should only play 38.5 seconds of the referenced song. It's comforting to see my tortured puns were in full effect back then.
- Both of Britney Spears' sons have birthdays very close to mine, and as this post was written in the Kevin Federline era, I felt more comfortable back then calling Britney a derogatory term I wouldn't use today.
- A college friend's birthday is on September 11, which oof.
- Webley was a company that was oddly ahead of its time, but also stuck in a specific period that limited its growth. They used to offer a product called CommuniKate, which was your virtual personal assistant that unified your phone, mobile, fax, and email communications through one telephone number. Back in the late 90s and early 00s, it meant something to have one phone number to do everything. Today, most if not all of CommuniKate's functions can be done on your mobile, so there's little need for this service.
- I didn't have LiveJournal in 2001, but had it existed, I would have written a real sad-sack story about my 30th birthday. There was little need for any celebration, and L. was a year away from entering my life. My friend N. and I had what could best be described as a "grim men's evening" at a Chicago restaurant called Crabby Kim's, owned by the same folks who ran the Admiral Theater, and staffed by former and current strippers at said place. Think of Hooters with the knowledge that the waitstaff is often dressed in far less, along with food that was fried and forgettable, and you'd be close to the ambience of Crabby Kim's.
- The house never happened. It likely never will. Unbeknownst to me, I was about five months away from being let go by my job, which was a shame as I was searching for other employment in the hopes I could let them go. It worked out for me, as that job was at a brewery that got bought out in 2008, and everyone in my department was axed at that time.
- I needed a few years to be content with my move to St. Louis from Chicago, as I needed to accept STL for what it was, instead of trying to force equivalencies from Chicago upon it. Once I reached that point, I was able to find some contentment here.
And with that, I'll close the Unarchive. Until next time.